A (kind of) update...

So after not hearing any news on my birthday, I cracked and called our social worker to find out what was going on. Waiting 10 weeks for fingerprints seemed really out of the normal range based on how long other people were waiting. Our social worker is awesome and got back to me right away. Here is what we found out:

1. Our fingerprints are attached to all of our relatives' fingerprints that we had taken so they could be babysitters. Obviously a group of 8 is going to take longer than just 2.
2. My Dad's fingerprints were rejected and needed to be redone (apparently he was too "hot" to get clear prints). Needless to say I had his canceled instead of retaking them and setting us back another 10 weeks!
3. The more places you have lived the longer the results take to come back. John and I both lived like nomads in our early 20's and had about 7 addresses each, and covered 4 different states.

So the official estimate (guesstimate?) was that it would take another 2 weeks for the results to come in, followed by another week of being approved by the placement supervisor, putting us at about 3 more weeks until we are called for a baby. Although this is a lot longer than we thought we would wait (and it could still be much longer than this estimate) I was still happy and relieved to have the update. At least I know our papers are not lost, and progress is being made. And since I know we won't get called for a few more weeks, I can continue to make plans and live my life and not be attached to my cell phone thinking "today is going to be the day FOR SURE. Like, I'm really sure. It's TODAY" (repeat. repeat. repeat. day. after. day.) After a while there is a fine line between "optimism" and "insanity".

How to scare John

Step 1: Put doll in carseat

Step 2: Put carseat in middle of room

Step 3: Wait for John to get home from work

Step 4: Laugh when you hear scream

Trying not to get down...

A few months ago when we were just doing our classes, John and I made predictions about our first placement. We each guessed the date he/she would arrive, if it would be a boy or girl, and how old the baby would be.



As you can see, my prediction was Feb 12... which has since come and gone. I am trying to stay positive as this wait gets longer but it is tough. I know there are kids out there that need us and waiting for the red tape is so frustrating!!!

A reminder of why we're doing this

In our excitement to be placed with our first child, it can be easy to overlook the tragedies and losses that will occur to bring the child into our home. I came across these statistics and it was a stark reminder about the reality of children in foster care.

How many children were reported and received an investigation or assessment for abuse and neglect?
During Federal fiscal year 2007, an estimated 3.2 million referrals, involving the alleged maltreatment of approximately 5.8 million children, were referred to CPS agencies. Of these, an estimated 794,000 children were determined to be victims of abuse or neglect.

Who were the child victims?
Children in the age group of birth to 1 year had the highest rate of victimization at 21.9 per 1,000 children of the same age group in the national population. More than one-half of the child victims were girls (51.5%) and 48.2 percent were boys. Approximately one-half of all victims were White (46.1%), 21.7 percent were African-American, and 20.8 percent were Hispanic.

What were the most common types of maltreatment?
As in prior years, neglect was the most common form of child maltreatment. CPS investigations determined that:

Nearly 60 percent (59.0%) of victims suffered neglect;
More than 10 percent (10.8%) of the victims suffered physical abuse;
Less than 10 percent (7.6%) of the victims suffered sexual abuse; and
Less than 5 percent (4.2%) of the victims suffered from psychological maltreatment.

How many children died from abuse or neglect?
Child fatalities are the most tragic consequence of maltreatment. Yet, each year children die from abuse and neglect. During 2007:

-An estimated 1,760 children died due to child abuse or neglect.
-More than three-quarters (75.7%) of the children who died due to child abuse and neglect were younger than 4 years old.
-Infant boys (younger than 1 year) had the highest rate of fatalities, at 18.85 deaths per 100,000 boys of the same age in the national population.


This video shows a poem that our teacher read to us in foster parenting class. With the music it is very powerful.

How to guarantee you'll get a call

After talking with other foster parents, it seems that the way to make sure you get called for a placement is to make yourself as busy and unavailable as possible. If you clear your schedule and wait patiently by the phone, it will never ring. But if you plan a week of traveling or socializing and throw yourself into something fun, be prepared to cancel your plans because a call is coming your way! Using this philosophy I decided to plan my busiest week ever. I took extra hours at work so I am now working 48 hours/week (that will all need to be substituted if a baby should arrive), I have a girl's lunch planned, Valentine's Day date out with John, family dinner for my birthday, friends' night out for my birthday, and 2 doctor's appointments. Is it crazy that I am HOPING I will have to cancel all this??



If this plan doesn't work and next week comes and goes with no call, I have a backup plan: trash the baby's room and the rest of the house! Any other ideas of how to make myself UNready?

Euro baby trends have crossed the pond!

When I was an au-pair in France in a few years back, they had all this cool baby stuff that I had never seen before in the U.S. Now I am noticing these things starting to infiltrate the American baby sphere! Here are some examples:

Baby legs! These can be leg warmers, pants, knee-protectors for crawling babies, long underwear, etc. They also help keep the baby's socks on, and you can keep them on during diaper changes so baby doesn't freeze.

Sleep sacks Since it's not safe for babies to have blankets in the crib (strangulation and suffocation hazard) these are great for keeping baby warm. Plus, they can't kick them off, and I think the cozy, bundled-up feeling helps them sleep.

Deodorizing diaper sacks A simple way to get rid of the stinky diaper smell without any special gear. You just put each poopy diapers in one of these little plastic bags and they completely block the smell.

And to give thanks to the Frenchie baby who showed me these fun things, here is a picture of baby Raphael:

Practice makes perfect

My attempt at the Moby:
Cradle Hold
Baby facing in
Baby facing out

Can't wait to have a real baby in there... the doll is not quite as much fun.